Language and understanding is changing missteps into opportunities for learning.
I have struggled as leader and a follower, and while I could not be one or the other without mistakes or missteps, it does not lessen the pain induce when the memories flood through the mind’s gate, seemingly out of nowhere. Some hit so hard there is simply a reflexive response to subdue the thought, distract myself, and move on. Having a deeper language and understanding of what makes us fallible as leaders, but also human, has been invaluable. I cannot express the gratitude I feel for what I am learning through the work of individuals like Berne Brown, who gives us tools to explore vulnerability and shame. Because of Jennifer Garvey-Berger, I now know that at my worst moments I was likely stuck in either rightness, or ego. From Adam Grant, I now see those movements are timed to when I knew just enough to go toe-to-toe with someone while I was brimming with overconfidence. No leader can completely avoid getting tripped up in mind traps or bouts of overconfidence, but no good leader comes without reflecting and learning from the mistakes. With the power that comes from wrapping language around the emotions I was feeling during the worst moments, and the self-generated traps that shaped my actions and thinking, I can work to forgive my past missteps but more importantly, avoid paving the way to missteps future.
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